I’ve previously touched on the idea that camp is supposed to be a sacred place for kids to come and truly be themselves. It’s not school, so any sort of unpopularity or pressure to be cool that a child feels at school can be thrown out the window at camp. Camp gives kids an opportunity to start fresh and reinvent themselves in a setting where teachers and cliques aren’t telling them “no.” (Granted, when a camper asks me if he can spray paint a tree, I’m still going to tell him no, but that’s another issue.) In fact, if shown love, appreciation, and acceptance from the counselors and other campers, the pressure-free atmosphere that camp provides can even give kids a boost of confidence when they return to school in the fall.
However, all of this pressure-free confidence may be swiftly destroyed for a long time if a child faces a bullying situation during camp. According to Steve Brenneman, the Camp Sonshine WASC Programmer, “The ripple effects of bullying are so intense that people will carry them for the rest of their life.” That’s why it is the counselor’s job to ensure that bullying doesn’t occur, or if it does, to end it immediately. According to StopBullying.gov, an alarming 28% of students in grades 6-12 have experienced bullying in some point in their school career, and 70.6% of young people have witnessed bullying in their schools. The sad thing is that bullying has become extremely common in schools, but the good thing is that camp counselors (as well as anyone else) can help prevent it. In order to do so, the crucial first step is to set an anti-bullying standard. Instead of telling children not to bully, it is more effective give them positive alternatives. (Kids tend to respond a lot better when you tell them what they can do instead of what they cannot do.) On the first day of every week, I like to sit my group down and explain to them that camp is a place where we build each other up instead of cutting each other down. I also emphasize the obvious fact that we are all different, but our differences make our group special and so much stronger. I then usually conclude that with these thoughts in mind, bullying will not be tolerated. This way, the campers have an idea of how they should act, and they understand that if they don’t act this way, there will be consequences. Unfortunately, this is really the only preventative action that counselors can take against bullying before it even begins. With that in mind, however, there are ways for counselors to nip a bullying situation in the bud. It is very important for counselors to monitor the group dynamic and see where cliques are forming and where some campers may appear to be left out. (Stay tuned for a post about how to create a strong group dynamic in the future!) If a camper appears to be left out of the group, this is a great opportunity for the counselor to have some one-on-one time with the camper, but it is also important to determine why the camper is left out. Sometimes this may mean that the child is more of an introvert and prefers to be alone, but it also may indicate that bullying is occurring within the group. With that said, while it is easy to spot a camper who is left out of the group, sometimes a bullying situation is not as easy to spot because kids are sneaky and know only to bully when the counselor is not paying attention. (Sadly, we don’t have eyes on the back of our heads like moms do, so we don’t always know what’s going on.) Because of this, it is also important that campers know that they can always come to you with any concerns, bullying-related or otherwise, and that they won’t be judged for them. According to StopBullying.gov, reminding children that you are there for them and even talking to them one-on-one for 15 minutes a day can reassure them that they can come to you if they have a problem. (This is yet another reason to spend one-on-one time with individual campers!) Finally, it is important to encourage kids to do whatever it is that they love without fear of other people looking down on them. Although this isn’t a direct solution to bullying, if children are encouraged to do what they love and a bullying situation does occur, then it is a lot easier to help the bully put themselves in the shoes of the child that they are bullying and understand why bullying wrong. For example, if a child who loves basketball is teasing another child for their love of Pokémon, it’s easy to get the child who loves basketball to imagine being picked on for their love of basketball and understand the unfairness of the situation, possibly causing a change in their behavior as a result. With all of that in mind, it is a lot easier to prevent bullying altogether or stop it before it escalates than it is to deal with a bullying situation once it has occurred. However, it is equally important to know how to handle a bullying situation after the fact. The first step is to sit the bully aside and explain to them that their actions are unacceptable and that they need to be mindful of others’ feelings. (Depending on the severity of the situation, the bully may not even be aware that they are bullying.) It is important, however, to also hear their side of the story because a single perspective may not reveal the entire truth. After this, if the child is truly at fault, have them apologize to the other child. (I have found that getting children to write out apology letters causes them to think about their actions and is more effective in preventing a future incident than simply having the child say, “I’m sorry,” when they might not mean it.) Then, it is extremely important to talk to the child who was bullied. Thank them for being brave and coming to you as well as ensure them that it will not happen again. Also, many children believe that it is their fault that they were bullied, so it is crucial that they understand that they are special and unique and do not deserve to be treated that way and that it is the bully who is behaving poorly, not them. Overall, bullying is a very complex issue, and not every situation is as black and white as it may appear, making it very difficult to handle alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone else and ask for help because it can be physically and emotionally draining to deal with a bullying situation. I have found that I’m really good at making these posts super long, so here is a list of summary points:
Thanks for reading! Logan *P.S. Thank you to Steve Brenneman for helping me formulate ideas!* *P.S.S. This may be my last post until the Fall semester because finals are just around the corner, and then my summer begins! I may have time to squeeze in one more post in June before camp starts, but I am not sure yet. Also, I am considering posting more generic biweekly updates of my camp experiences, but that will depend on how well I am able to budget my time during camp. I work over 12 hour days, so I won’t know until I try.*
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Logan DechterUniversity of Maryland student by fall and spring, camp counselor by summer. Archives
February 2018
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